Lisa — postnatal depression.
It feels like this Melbourne-based Mum-of-four has more hours in a day than us. She does it all, and does it WELL.
Lisa fell pregnant with her second baby three months after giving birth. Everyone around her was like ‘I can’t believe it!’. But she couldn’t believe her frumpy maternity clothes were coming out of storage so soon.
This is how Bae was (figuratively, lol) born. To help Mumma’s wear clothes they wouldn’t want to burn at the end of pregnancy. I love their stuff, and we instantly connected.
TW: misscarriage, postnatal depression, mental health struggles.
Pregnancy experience
All of Lisa’s pregnancies, bar one, happened after a miscarriage beforehand. So, pregnancy to her was always filled with worry and unease.
Those first three months were always the trickiest. Hiding a huge secret from everyone, feeling sick, and trying to not fall asleep at her desk.
By her third baby, she was juggling it all well, and had an amazing support system. But, her fourth was physically and mentally her hardest, due to her placenta being posterior (where your placenta has implanted onto the back of your uterus). It was painful, and made her worry a lot.
Lisa has never opened up about her experience with postnatal depression, to anyone. We take our hats off to how brave she’s been to chat to us.
Postnatal depression (PND)
She’d felt PND after her first baby, but it was a completely different kind with her fourth.
“It was a slow burn for me, an accumulation of tough situations, some beyond my control. When they say no PND is the same, it really is true.”
To set the scene — life was lookin’ pretty good. It was 2021, and Lisa had just signed to build her dream home, and had a beautiful birth. The recovery process was a-ok, too.
Then, a snap lockdown hit, that had no end date. Her fam moved into a rental while they built, with no space for the kids to run around. In case you don’t remember (we don’t blame you), us Melbournites weren’t really allowed to leave our houses or use the playgrounds. Walks were only allowed once a day.
“All of a sudden I had my newborn, I was homeschooling a prep and grade one. I had my toddler asking me to play with him all day long. My school kids would wake up crying and telling me they hated homeschooling, and hated me.”
This, plus trying to work on her business — just became too much.
“So after some time of this, the postnatal crept in. One day I had a thought that was so scary I couldn’t say it out loud. Even to this day I can't share it with people. As a Mum, you know and feel with all your being this is wrong and you know it makes no sense.
I couldn’t get it out of my mind. It only happened at night, while I was with my baby and sleeping beside me.”
It got to the point where Lisa begged her husband to sleep with their newborn. She was too scared to tell him why.
All of her research on PND sounded nothing like her experience, so she believed there wasn't any help out there. She was isolated, and terrified to tell anyone.
“The thing is, when you’re mentally unwell, nothing makes sense… I knew I wasn’t ok, but I didn’t know how to fix it.”
She tried medication after vaguely telling her doctor, but was also nervous to take it, due to the warnings and a family history of mental illness.
Finally, she told her husband, who was the best support in the world. He reminded her that a problem shared, is a problem halved.
“It was like once I said the words out loud of what was scaring me, they lost their power.”
Around 12 months later, she finally started to feel better.
Helping Mumma’s feel like themselves is now her passion. She’s built an all women team, with a big focus on flexibility, too.
She said if she went through it again, she would’ve told her husband much sooner, and her supportive network of friends — at the time, life just didn’t make sense throughout the isolation of covid.
Now, she feels like her old self again. It’s been three years — and her cup is full of family, friends, and fun. She says to give yourself time, and everything will eventually fall back into place.
Lisa’s advice:
- Don’t ever feel alone — you’re completely normal.
- You are NOT a bad Mum/person because this is happening to you.
- Before having your baby, make sure you have a support network.
Have people in your life you can open up to.